6 months ago...

You'll have to press rewind as this is a post that has literally sat in the blog edit list waiting to be published since Oct 5, 2009. I always wanted to give my perspective of my dad's transplant surgery and the few days following, but never could quite get myself to do it. So, as my dad said he had an update for the 6 month after point, I thought it was time to sit down and push these thoughts out. Somehow I know I will mix up all the emotions considering we just made yet another move only this one farther away and not closer to home. So much of life has changed in the past year or so that this has been a tough move so far. I got used to being able to drive home if I wanted. I was blessed beyond words with the chance to be there and experience first hand the miracle God performed with my dad 6 months ago in Jacksonville. To think that the doctors just over 6 months ago were telling him he would have 6 months to live is just amazing beyond words. Friday, April 2, 2010 marks 6 months exactly from the date of his surgery. Friday, April 2, 2010 is also Good Friday. So I'll try to take myself back to 6 months ago when all this was "in the moment", but as I said, I still can't decipher between the complete awe of what God has done, the immense love that I feel for my dad every day and all the other emotions in between.

I realize that my dad has his surgery Friday night, Oct 2nd and was officially given his new lungs and a new BREATH OF LIFE on Oct 3rd, but after being put back under for 24 hours, it feels like today was the first "real" day. So, here's my perspective of things today.

Memories from today:
We were told last night that they would start waking him up around 630 probably. 630 came and went even though I didn't know it b/c I was still asleep, or at least trying to sleep.

At one point, Debbie and I were in the room talking about the prayer pager. She was getting ready to go off duty so she took down the number. Honestly I don't know if she ever used the number, maybe I could ask Uncle Steve since one of my memories will be of him sitting in the ICU waiting room making phone calls thanking people for their prayers. It didn't matter if he knew the number or not, he just picked up the phone to call the prayer warriors.

Somewhere during all the medical talk, the Doctor mentioned how no one had ever prayed for donor's family, until my dad. It was amazing to see the doctors and nurses interact with my dad in just the few short days of being there. This was someone they had never met but they instantly fell in love with him for many reasons.

One of the most powerful moments was when my dad was waking up and still had tubes in him making it impossible for him to speak to us, vocally anyway. When he opened his eyes after surgery, you could see the overwhelming emotion as we were all standing around him cheering him on letting him know it was all okay. He wanted so bad to talk to us and you could see that. Since he couldn't, he was coherent enough to squeeze our hands and communicate. I stood on his left side seeing if he would squeeze it after his left side had not responded earlier hence him having to be put back under for 24 hours. With tubes getting in the way of his vocal cords, he chose to continue to let us all know he loved us by squeezing 1-4-3, which means in "beeper code" "I love you". It was almost comical to have us all standing there trying to figure out what he was trying to tell us, but we finally figured it out.

It was interesting to listen to my dad recount his time just before going under. Things were crazy as they found out he would not only be getting one lung but two and how quickly that all transpired. I think people often underestimate my dad (well, ok maybe not) but he picks up on way more than we know. During the same prayer before his surgery with his surgical team where he prayed for the donor's family, he also thanked God for the nurse to have been able to get a sitter and stay for surgery. This was something you could tell the nurse appreciated and had not known my dad overheard her on the phone asking friends to help out so she could stay.

We all knew my dad was back and was the Rick we all know and love when he was already giving Debbie lists of things to do. It was probably one of the first things he did when he was able to talk without the tubes in. Some things never change :)

Remind me NEVER to stick around in a room where they start cleaning everything and making sure the entire room is sterile. That's when I'll be checking out of the room next time! Watching a picc line iv is something I could have certainly lived without!

I honestly don't remember how this next part went down as many of these things were just in bullet form until now, but through some form of communication after my dad had woken up, my friend Kim Mac shared with me John 11:4: "When he heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it.". When I passed the message along to my Dad he replied with John 9:1-5 saying "This is my job".

I can't remember who played Monday Night Football since we were just so excited about the Dolphins beating the Bills the day before but we got to sit and watch football with my dad in his hospital room. It's the little things you take for granted that you enjoy so much as you get to do them the next time.

We had to laugh at how Dad kept trying to figure out how it was already Monday. He was convinced it was only Saturday since he hadn't been fully caught up on being put back under and having to reset him system for just over 24 hours. Time flies when you're having fun I guess. He kept telling Uncle Pat what a dog he was for missing a surprise birthday party for Aunt Nancy b/c he thought it was Saturday. Obviously he apologized when he realized everyone had made it to their events and still made it down to spend time with him.

The girls had been all set to see G-Man a few weeks after his surgery (plans had been made prior to him receiving the call from the Mayo Clinic). So when they found out that Mommy and Daddy were going to see G-Man and that they were staying with Nana (who was thankfully in town when we got the call so God couldn't have worked that one out better), they were slightly upset simply b/c they wanted to see G-Man as well and weren't grasping why they couldn't go. We decided that they would make G-Man "Get Well" cards. The cards made the trip with us and Dad made sure that everyone who walked through the door to his room saw those cards.

Uncle Steve was there throughout the transplant as much as he could be, but finally it came time for him to head back to Fort Lauderdale. With a scratchy throat still semi fresh from tubes and testing, Dad again wanted to make sure he prayed when Uncle Steve left. He still made sure to mention the donor's family.

Various other thoughts:

I remember my brother (and then others) telling me to listen to the song "I'm Alive" by Kenny Chesney.

I remember telling my husband and Uncle Steve that I was going for a run the morning my dad was supposed to start waking up. Instead (somewhat pre-meditated), I found myself standing by his bed with him unable to talk or even know that I was there. I simply walked in, wandered down to his room and listened to the various beeps from the machines that were all helping Operation Breath of Life keep going. Ha, of course Debbie called while I was in the room and I'm sure was a bit surprised to hear the doctor tell her that I was standing in the room. Hadn't intended to get caught :) It wasn't the first time I didn't listen to my dad considering he had told me pre surgery to wait and come down to Jacksonville later. I couldn't imagine being anywhere but by his side during this time. I will never forget the image I have in my head of him laying there and it felt like a complete out of body experience with an overwhelming wave of emotion as I had never seen my dad that way. (I'm sure the docs didn't question whether or not I was related since I didn't have my id on me). I know he didn't ever want me to see him that way, but it made me love him that much more, to know that he's human and he's now stronger because of it!

There are so many other bits and pieces I could try to piece together, but it all gets mixed up in the many emotions that followed in the next few weeks as life took many other turns with other families we are friends with and yet God still worked in every situation.

Ultimately, I am so thankful to be sitting here tonight (as late as it is and as much as I should be sleeping with movers showing up in the morning:)) and glad I can reflect on the past 6 months and know that my kids and I still have future memories to make with my dad. We have made great memories over the past few months while still making sure we are careful to heed the doctors orders and take the necessary precautions. I'm so glad that I get more time with my dad. I wasn't ready to give him up and I thank God every day for the relationship I have with him. I wish everyone could have a relationship like we do and could cherish the time they have with their dad the way I do. I know the girls have a blast with Eric and G-Man when they get to see him and it just makes me so happy to see the love between all of them.

And now that I have writer's block, I must sign off. It's probably a sign that I need to sleep since I have to be up in less than 7 hours to greet movers bringing my stuff in! Happy "half anniversary" Dad! I love you!